do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
