Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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