dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
