i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
