No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
