to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
