okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
