she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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