Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
