barbara walters just said penis...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This baby is an asshole
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
