Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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