We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize