I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
