Already got asked if we're dating
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
