haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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