We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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