yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
