Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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