His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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