Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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