I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
