the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
