There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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