I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
