You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
bring money and cleavage
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
