I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize