I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize