dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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