so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize