Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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