I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
