i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
