i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
