ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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