I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
