Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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