I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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