so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We were destined to go to rehab together
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
