covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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