hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
