what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
