Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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