But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
