Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you never un-have a 4some
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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