none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
