i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
this hospital has no fireball
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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