Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
