Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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