she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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