mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
wow bdsm is so cute
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
