You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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