Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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