Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
