i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So many bounce houses so little time
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
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At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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