I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
