Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
